Prompt by Akansha

 yesterday was tough,

again.
and now,
i garner the fragments
of my wrecked heart
below the feet of the people
i love.

here i'm,
sitting alone in the balcony
watching the crescent-less sky
and dreaming
about the foregone.

i was 6 hails old
when a thundercloud
invaded into my life,
and exploded into
disparating catastrophes.

my father,
an intrepid;
abiding the toughest,
met with an accident.

he had his 37 bones
crippled,
for i longed for a shoulder
to sob on.

i was 9 summers old
when a delusional rainbow
unveiled the grey sky
of cascading murks
with blossoms and sunflowers.

my father,
a hodophile;
took us to four
holy pilgrimages.

he praised
the deities of
various religions,
for he wanted to become
god's favourite.

on days when
he cursed himself and
start to lose faith,
me, being an atheist;
made him my god.

i searched for his blessings
in every nano-second of my living,
just as trapping
lustrous seashells from plenty of shores.

i was 10 parchments old
when an asteroid
knocked my window
to hand me a disease report.

my father,
a maverick;
suffered every minute
of his life
with unendurable
collywobbles.

he lived in a 4 walled room,
rested upon a
bubble sored air mattress
with extremely annoyed face
gazing at the hourglass
for several days and endless dawns.

this 10 sorrows old girl,
took atmost care of him.
tried,
to make him survive
till forever,
cooked food for him
while maa earned.

i was 12 heartbreaks old
when my life
distorted.

my heart's still in
lumps and segments.

i was 15 snippets old
when i penned up
my first poem for him,
and kept it in
the temple of my house.

my father,
in heaven;
fails to show up
in my dreams.

I still sleep on
the left side of the bed,
just where his mattress was placed.

i am 19 regrets old now.
regrets?
i regret not loving him for long,
i regret not taking extra×4 care of him.

it's 6:18 am
i'm awake.
i'm thinking of death.

i think of death,
and feel so desperate
to touch his hands.

i think of death,
as a gateway of peace.

i think of death,
as an escape
from the world.

what if,
i die?
what? how? when? why?

i think of death,
and see myself packing bags
of memories and
melancholies.

i think of death,
and him.